Other Relationships While the Divorce Is Pending
Technically, a sexual relationship with another person while a divorce is pending is adultery. Even if neither party has alleged adultery as a ground for divorce, adultery remains a misdemeanor level crime in New York State. This may be of some concern if you are worried about being the first person in a hundred years to be charged with the crime of adultery. If not, there is nothing to stop you from conducting yourself discretely. Discretion remains important for a couple of reasons having nothing to do with the criminality of adultery. First, if there are children, it is important to keep the children away from the paramour. Although there was a time when the moral turpitude associated with an extramarital affair would be a factor in a court’s determination of custody, today the courts are more concerned with the ability of a parent to protect his or her children by keeping children away from a paramour while the parent is still married. So, while a relationship can be a fine idea, it’s important to keep the children away from the paramour.
Second, keeping it discrete may help settle your case. Many cases that could have settled “blow up” when emotions run hot. Common sense dictates that the best course is one which involves the least potential for conflict. In other words, what your spouse doesn’t know, won’t hurt him or her.